Name: Ilya Stemkovsky
Bust: A-cup (with recent implants)
Waist: 125
Hips: none
Height: 7' 10"
Weight: 3 lbs. wet
Eyes: bloodshot
Hair: mod
Ears: clean
Attire: Post-Grunge, briefs
Make-up: Tammy Faye Baker type, but more
Birth date: March 25, 1976
Birthplace: Moscow, Russia
Ambitions: zero ambition
Turn-Ons: a sense of humor, long walks on
the beach, death metal
Turn-Offs: nothing turns me off
Words to live by: "As long as I got a
Barretta, nigga, I'm down for whateva." (Dr. Dre, from 2001)
All documentation of my early years including my birth certificate and the like was eaten by my parents long ago when we were hungry and with no means to purchase normal food.
I played piano for 8 years but switched to the drums at age 16 when I realized it was my true calling. My folks told me that I was banging on pots and pans pretty early in my childhood. You can’t blame my mom for wanting Chopin instead of kitchenware klangfarben.
I lived in Brooklyn, NY and then moved to Old Bridge, NJ where I played in local bands Choda and Papa Smoke and jammed in New Brunswick with Pete. Meanwhile, I received my B.A. in Public Relations from Rowan University in southern NJ. After graduation, I moved out to Oregon and soon formed OM Trio with Brian, also a Jersey-ite.
I’ve amassed quite a list of musical influences over the years, and it’s way too huge to list in detail. Nonetheless, some people whose rent I’ve paid or whose children or grandchildren’s rent I’ve paid include: John Zorn, Bill Frisell, Zappa, Springsteen, Billy Joel, Chopin, Beethoven, Philip Glass, Stravinsky, Meshuggah, King Crimson, System of a Down, Autechre, Squarepusher, Bob Marley, Steely Dan, Rob Crow (Heavy Vegetable & Thingy), The Police, Sting, Joni Mitchell, Rage Against the Machine, Miles Davis, Coltrane, Led Zeppelin, Tower of Power, Hendrix, Steve Coleman, NIN, Phish, Primus, Beatles, All, Rush, Yes, Genesis, Mingus, Jawbox, Fugazi, Shudder To Think, Bill Evans, and Tori Amos among many others.
Some of my drumming influences include Tony Williams, Joey Baron, Vinnie Colaiuta, Elvin Jones, Dennis Chambers, Dave Weckl, Brian Blade, Bill Stewart, Peter Erskine, Leon Parker, Jack DeJohnette, Ben Riley, Jim Black, John Bonham, Phil Collins, Zachary Barocas, Neil Peart, Bill Bruford, Terry Bozzio, Tommy Lee, and countless others.
| Main kit: | 1999 Tama Starclassic Performer (birch). |
| Sizes: | 18" x 20" kick, 6" x 10" tom, 8" x 12" tom, 11" x 14" floor tom (suspended), 6.5" x 13" Yamaha "Musashi" oak snare, 5" x 10" Yamaha Black Beauty and Gretsch 8" steel remote snares. |
| Heads: | Evans GI (one-ply) Coated on all batter sides and Clear EMAD on kick. Clear Evans Genera on bottoms. |
| Sticks: | Vic Firth American Classic 5A; Vic Firth American Custom T1 General mallets. (I endorse Vic Firth sticks.) |
| Hardware: | Assorted stands; DW 5000 double bass pedal (detaches to single). |
| Cymbals: | All Zildjian - 14" Mastersound Hi-Hats (top and bottom), 18" A Custom Crash, 17" K Custom Dark Crash, Two 8" A Custom splashes as remote hi-hats, Two 12" Chinas. Also various gongs and splashes to put on top of drums. |
| Artist | Album | Drummer |
| John Zorn | Hiding & Seeking | Cyro Baptista, percussion |
| Nirvana | From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah (Live) | Dave Grohl, others |
| Tori Amos | From the Choirgirl Hotel | Matt Chamberlain |
| Bob Marley & The Wailers | Live May 26, 1976 | Carlton Barrett |
| Jing Chi | Live at Yoshi's | Vinnie Colaiuta |
| All | Allroy Saves | Bill Stevenson |
| System of a Down | Steal This Album | John Dolmayan |
| Phish | Live 20 (Providence, RI) 12.29.94 | Jon Fishman |
| Meshuggah | Nothing | Tomas Haake |
| Esquivel | Strings Aflame! | various |
| Queen | Live Killers | Roger Taylor |
| Neil Diamond | Hot August Night (Live) | Dennis St. John |
| Autechre | Draft 7.30 | (programming) |
| Dave Holland Quintet | Extended Play (Live) | Billy Kilson |
| Frank Zappa | Halloween (live 1978) | Vinnie Colaiuta |
| Bartok | Complete String Quartets | (none) |
| Joey Baron | Raised Pleasure Dot | Joey Baron |
| Pantera | 101 Proof Live | Vinnie Paul |
